Last Christmas ~ the gift of singleness
“Last Christmas” has always been one of my favorite Christmas songs. I remember being around 10 years old sitting in front of the TV in the living room at my parents’ house pressing rewind over and over again, the Rockefeller Christmas special on repeat from the DVR. For all my high school musical lovers out there, the performer of this song was none other than Sharpay Evans - aka Ashley Tisdale. I memorized every dance move and note from Ashley’s rendition of “Last Christmas”, down to the wink for added emphasis on “once bitten, twice shy.” I loved listening to other versions of the song from Glee’s, to Taylor Swift’s but none of them ever quite measured up!
As I was scrolling on social media one day recently, the words Last Christmas took on new meaning. Suddenly it wasn’t just a Christmas pop ballad, but moreso an entire concept by which to frame my perspective this Christmas. A reel titled “maybe this is why you’re single” stopped me in my tracks. It shared a convicting reminder to be grateful for singleness this season as it could be the last time you go over to your parents’ and it’s just you. The last time you sleep in your childhood bedroom with your sister, or take a family vacation solo, one last girl’s trip (although I don’t think those will ever end), one last slumber party with your besties. Although some of those things don’t have to end when you meet your person, there is something to be said for uninterrupted time with ones you love free of the distraction of another person you may be trying to impress or give your attention to. So as I listened to Christmas music at my desk, the words of Last Christmas ringing in my ear, I was reminded of that reel and realized the striking parallel between the messages– that this could be the Last Christmas.
The Last Christmas I stay the night at my parents’ house and wake up to presents “From Santa” in my mom’s curly cue handwriting as if they’ve magically arrived just as they did when I was 5 years old.
The Last Christmas I have only two Christmases to be fully present at rather than 4 or more among which to divide my time and attention.
The Last Christmas I go ice skating with just my sister and we realize for the umpteenth time we are basically Michelle Trachtenberg in Ice Princess… to never lace up a skate again until next year.
The Last Christmas I spend still at the honorary kid’s table.
The Last Christmas I get extra gifts for being unmarried with my mom’s side of the
family.
The Last Christmas in the house my sister and I built and now live in together, where it feels like a sleepover every night as we watch our favorite Christmas movies or talk with friends until 2am.
The Last Christmas there are only four overly stuffed stockings hanging on my parents’ mantle.
The Last Christmas driving to the next Holiday event screaming “Mistletoe” by Justin Beiber at the top of my lungs with my sister in the car.
And the list could go on…
I realize some of these things may not change simply because I get married someday, but I am also realistic enough to know things will change in some capacity and be different, likely in a bittersweet and beautiful way in itself.
Being single during the Holidays isn’t always easy, because you thought last christmas - ironic huh?`-- would be your last season single, that maybe, just maybe, you’d have someone to share the magic with this time next year. That you would be going on the cute instagram worthy Christmas dates to see the lights, hold hands at the rink, or have someone sitting next to you on the couch like all your cousins as you open presents.
I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. (2 Corinthians 7:7-8)
While those feelings aren’t unvalidated, like I’ve been reminded, I want to remind you this year of the gift of singleness, of the Last Christmas. Paul refers to singleness as a gift saying he wished all men were “Even as I am myself, but each one has his own gift from God” in 1 Corinthians 7:7-9. We hear this quoted often in sermons and books on marriage and singleness. Sometimes it’s hard to hear and while I’m still trusting Jesus and praying for a husband someday as that is a desire I have brought before Him, I’m realizing what a blessing this season really is. I’ve heard Rich Wilkerson share that you know you’re healed from past hurt and ready when you don’t need a relationship, but you want one and you’re ready for it.
There is truly a gift of being in this place of in between, of waiting, of being able to serve the kingdom with undivided attention, to serve the church with all your gifts and passions faithfully and be used in ways you may not be able to when married or carrying responsibilities of a family. There is a gift in having an abundance of time, of building friendship and community now that will follow you into the next season, whatever it holds. This idea of Last Christmas also holds hope for that prayer of God sending me a person with whom to do life with and grow the kingdom together in shared purpose being answered and seeing that fulfilled. Even if He doesn’t though, the greatest gift is the baby found lying in a manger all those years ago, Jesus. Only in Him is true contentment and sometimes I have to remind myself of that too. I think it's important to remember who we are truly waiting on.
So friends, singleness is a gift this Christmas, even if it doesn’t appear to be wrapped up pretty and tied with a bow. I don’t want to take this freedom and time for granted because it’s just as special and you never know when it could be the Last Christmas.
Lord, I thank you for this Christmas. Thank you for this season of singleness, and all the ways you’ve used me. Help me to be present as if this was the last Christmas like this. Don’t let me miss the wonder or neglect such a great salvation (Hebrews 2:3). Jesus, I need you and love you. You are the ultimate gift. I pray anyone struggling with singleness this season would find contentment and peace in the savior. If it seems slow we will wait. Jesus you’re worthy if this is the Last Christmas or not. Thank you that you’re Emanuel, God with us. In Jesus name.